The road goes ever on and on,
down from the door where it began…
Now far ahead the road has gone,
and I must follow, if I can.
– J. R. R. Tolkein
I am many things. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a student. I am nerdy. I am a dreamer. I am (try to be) crafty. I am a pagan. I am a sister, and a daughter. I am lazy. I am…
To those who stumble upon this humble blog, hello. Grab a warm drink, sit, relax, and be merry. Let me tell you a bit more about myself.
I met my husband in the summer of 2008, online of all places. We were both playing a sci-fi mmorpg (massively multi-player online role-playing game) called Anarchy Online, and he happened to be friends with some of my guild mates. We ran into each in-game here and there, and one day he stopped while running to somewhere else, after having come across me, and started helping me with what I was doing. We started chatting a lot after that day, and really hit it off. And then we started developing feelings for each. We didn’t care that he lived in the center of England and me in southeast Georgia, with an ocean in between us. We fell for each other anyways. So, for Valentine’s of 2009, he flew all the way to the States to meet me, and spent about a week with me. He met some of my family, and it was a fantastic visit. We followed that up with me visiting him in England for a week during the end of June of the same year. During that visit, he asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes! It was very hard on us when I had to leave to go back to the States, but we had a lot of planning to do.
His proposal started a much bigger transition; starting the process for my fiancee visa to move to England. The process really wasn’t all that bad. And before we knew it, 2010 was upon us. Before the end of January, I was living in England, far away from everything and everyone I had ever known. It was all like a dream for a while. Not long after moving to England, we had more planning to do: a wedding. A fiancee visa is only good for 6 months, so we didn’t have long. We chose Gretna Green in Scotland for our wedding, at a lovely little mill that had a history of secret weddings dating back hundreds of years. I had bought my dress while still living in the States, so we had to wait on my mother to mail that to us. We had find a cake, and flowers, and make-up and hair for me, and a suit for him. We had to buy rings. It seemed like so much to do at the time. While not much of our families were able to make it, we were both glad at least a few people were able to make it to Scotland to watch our big day. Since it was to be in Scotland, we even had a bag piper play for our wedding. It truly was magical, and we stayed in southern Scotland for a week before returning home.
We were married on the first day of summer in 2010. Our week long honeymoon consisted of visiting Scottish beaches, old castles and abbeys, and just taking in all of the beauty that is in Scotland. We returned to England, and now had to apply for a new visa for me to stay in England. Just like before, it wasn’t so bad. This time it was a spouse visa, and it was good for two years. It also would allow me to work in England, which I couldn’t do with a fiancee visa. A few months had passed since our wedding day, and every where I looked I was seeing babies in prams, in strollers, or pregnant women. I had the baby fever. And why not, I was a married woman now; why not have a baby. So that’s exactly what we planned for next. By the end of the year, I was pregnant. I never did end up working while living in England (not that I didn’t try to find work; it just never came to be), but I was a happy housewife, and looked forward to being a stay-at-home mummy. We made sure to try to see as much as we could before the baby came along, as we knew we wouldn’t be able to afford it then, nor would we probably have time for it. Plus, we knew that we would be moving to the States soon after the baby came. Why move back to the States? While my husband was born and raised in England, and loved living there, he wanted better things. The prices of homes, gas, some foods, and just the cost of living is a lot less in the States (in most places anyways) versus England. Either way, one of would end up leaving family behind. I missed the south, I missed my family. I felt so alone at times (husband worked nights), and I was pregnant for the first time. I was ready to go home. However, we did see some amazing things.
We visited castles near by, the beach town where he had proposed to me, and we made sure to see Stonehenge; which was very spiritual for me, so it was amazing! By the end of it all, we knew we were having a little boy. We couldn’t be more excited. We made sure to get everything we thought we would need, and we would visit car boot sales for cheap baby clothes and things. It really didn’t take long for us to decide on a name either. He would have his first name after his father, and middle name after my great-grandfather. So, it was decided, we would call him John Avery (doesn’t it just flow so well). He was due at the end of August of 2011, but he didn’t want to wait that long. In fact, my husband and I had gone into town to get my eyebrows done. It was to be our last date night before our son would be born. He wasn’t due for another 2.5 weeks. Well, things did not go as planned. As soon as we got back to our flat after getting my eyebrows done, I had started having a lot of pain in my lower back. My sister had recently had her first child (my niece is only about 2 months older then my son), and she had bad back labor; and my mother did as well for both of us. Well, I was now in a lot of pain, in a fetal position on the bed. I knew it was time. So much for our last date night, huh. Little boy was going to crash it, haha! So it’s about 3 in the afternoon, and we call the hospital, and they tell us to come right in. They give me some pain meds, which were wonderful for a while. We were there for a while before the midwives (who were amazing!) wanted me to start pushing. I think it was about 10 hours. Once 3 a.m. rolled around, it was time to start pushing. About an hour before that, the epidural wore off. I assumed I could have more, and boy was I wrong! The reason I assumed that was probably due to my sister giving birth just a couple months prior, and she could just press a button for more! I was not so lucky; I guess they don’t do that in England. Maybe it’s gross, but I don’t care, because I was so proud of the fact (after reading how long it can take). Once I started pushing, it took 8 minutes! I screamed, cried, amazed that I didn’t cuss at all, and thought I couldn’t do it. Maybe it was so quick because the pain meds were gone, and I could feel everything, and oh how it hurt, like nothing ever before, so I wanted him out! And just like that, John Avery was born. August 7th, 2011. This perfect tiny little boy just entered our life, and we felt more like a family then ever before.
Ah, I forgot to mention… before our boy was born, my husband started the process of getting his American visa for us to move back to the States. This one was much more stressful. Getting a visa to move to America is so much more difficult then getting one to move to England. We can both attest to this. He had to go to London twice for it. The first time was for a physical, and the second time was for an interview. The second time was after our boy was born, and we were able to have it on the same day for me to register John Avery with the U.S. Embassy. That was also a huge pain. My husband and I were in two completely different areas of the Embassy. So there I was, in this small waiting room, with a breastfeeding newborn. It felt like it took forever. And oh how horrible his photo looked for his passport. It didn’t even look like him! So, anyways. My husband has his last visit to the Embassy for his visa process, and I registered our son with the Embassy. Another month and a half goes by, and we’re heading to the States. Not to my beloved southern states, but to the Midwest, where my mother and step-father were living. I’ll be honest, I still miss the south. My husband, who has only ever been to NW Indiana, Durham, NC, and southeast GA (as far as the States go) also wants to relocate to the south. One day.
So, let’s fast forward some. We’re still living in NW Indiana. I am still a stay-at-home mommy, while my husband works full-time as a warehouse team lead. We’re both in college, enrolled online, for IT. We’re both probably going the software engineering route. My mother and step-father still live up here, but are soon relocating back south. Once that happens, there will literally be no family, for either of us, anywhere near by. The closest family will be about 8 hours away. I am almost 30, and my son is almost 3. I don’t play mmorpg’s, or any video games really, so much anymore. I don’t have time, period. If I’m not tending to my son, or cleaning, I’m doing school work, or learning programming in my spare time. What time I have left over, I become lazy. I watch tv, or just do things online. Sometimes, I try to do crafty things. It doesn’t always work out very well though.
But my son, he is awesome. He is such a little boy; obsessed with trains, trucks, cars, construction vehicles (“mighty machines”), really any sort of vehicle. He likes puzzles, and dinosaurs, and pretends to be a cat. He is mischievous and just adorable. He looks just like his father, including his silly facial expressions. We’re doing home preschooling, and in part because daycare is so expensive. I won’t always be a stay-at-home mom, and I will miss it so very much. I try to cherish this time for as long as possible.